Where Do I Start..

So where do I start Bell..

Being with you is an indescribable feeling. A feeling people can only feel once felt..

Sometimes I might give you too many baby kisses..or shower you with tiny gifts..but that's how I show my love..and it's something I can't help

But you helped me in ways you may never know..only by showing all our flaws..can any of us really grow..

So I hope to grow with you..as long as we can

No matter the time length..I'm just happy I had the chance to be your man

I'm just writing from the heart..so I hope you can understand..

Faced with decisions..we are faced with so many every day

But at the end of it all..we still choose each other..and I wouldn't prefer it any other way

And you live a couple hours away..

But distance means nothing..when only when they are together..do our hearts feel okay..

I hope to help you reach to a place that's more than okay..a place where all your dreams come true..and that's scary since that might depend on

if you leave or stay… 

Leave or stay..

Who knows if Denmark will be better for you..life just gives us these cards we're dealt..so sometimes we have no choice but to play

And I'm playing for you..fuck it, I'll bet it all..bet it all for you

Donkeys,turtles & cats…almost forgot the moon..I know how much we love that

Then theres that tea..your yogurt & salt..these crazy things you like..will always be imprinted on my heart

But damn,where do I start Bell..

Where do we start..

Maybe with those three special words and I hate when we're apart..

They say your life doesn't truly begin..until you find the person whose broken pieces fit perfectly with your own dismantled heart..

"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." -Plato

For My Brother Chris..

No rest in peace will ever do, So I had to sit down & write this in memory of you..

And it's like fuck man, now you're really gone

You always were that big brother to be…who helped me move along

Would it be wrong..to say that this world did you wrong?

I know the type of person you were deep down inside..You were more than just strong

I wish I was there to maybe jump too or to hold you back…

Now I'm just thinking of you & Kevin..confused why they put us in a place where when you try to love..it doesn't love back

So numb inside…that I don't now how to react

Would give it all away..just to bring you back..

Bring you back to when we were kids..

From bunk-beds..to summer camp..You went through a lot..but you kept the darkness hid

Now it's all brought to the light..I don't care about the facts…I'm just hurting to know that you weren't alright

From Germany all the way to heaven..in my thoughts & poetry is where you always stay..

I tell myself this world wasn't good enough for you..and in my opinion that's how it will always stay..

You'll live forever,the memory of you will never die..

I still don't want to believe it..but sooner or later I'll eventually breakdown and cry..

And everyone is wondering why..

The truth is..we all know life sucks..there's no need for us to try to find a reason..or anything for us to justify

This doesn't change a thing..

No Chris,this doesn't change a thing..

I wish I had some pictures of us,but sadly they're all the wayback home..

We used to chill with John,Blake,Akram,Shelby,Trevor & Taylor..that will always be the fam..you loved to rep New York..but Houston always felt like home

Now I'm sitting in my place all alone..wondering what made you feel so alone

Man, if I would of known..

I bet everyone is secretly thinking to themselves if only I would of known..

That's the problem though..people only seem to care when it's too late

Why does it take someone to die,for all of our feelings to all of a sudden become awake..

I'm guilty too..I'm guilty too..

I had to isolate myself from everyone else..since I've made some bad decisions too

But this this isn't about me..this is suppose to be for you..

I'll make sure to help take care of little Mike.. and no matter what man..we will always still be proud of you..

It's crazy to know that we are the same age..

I just wish we were on the same chapter..same book..same page

I always feared of losing someone..while being so far away

But now that I think of it..no matter the distance..most of us are still so far away..

You have to treat each other like everyday is your last day..

Tell people you love them,send them flowers..don't wait until they pass away..

I don't really know how to end this Chris..so I'll probably secretly write a part 2.

Just know that we will always be brothers..And that I will always love you.

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Stay With Me (Who's Theme)

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And I'm still here..

Helplessly waiting for you..

Please don't abandon me..

Like the rest always do..

I might act invincible..and o' so brave..

But the truth is,

My biggest fear is dying unloved,alone in an unvisited grave

So stay with me..

Stay with me please..

With you the days don't feel so unbearable..

You seem to bring the joy out of me with ease..

I promise to do my best..

To the others,it seemed like the worse..

But sometimes we need a blessing in our lives..

To overcome the curse..

So stay with me..

Stay with me please..

I don't want to hurt anymore..

And you make all the pain seize..

Stay with me,I promise to stay true

I haven't met anyone worth all my love before…That was until I met someone like you..

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Bell..

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How do you still do this?

Even when you're not here..

How did you suddenly show me all the stars..

When all I saw before was pure darkness in the air..

How did you make all the happiness come by?

You went from the person I was the most nervous to even call on the phone..

To the person whom I hate to tell goodbye..

So you left today…

But a little of you stays with me all the time

We weren't searching for what we now have..

But that what's makes our love an even better find..

And when I'm with you..all communication with the rest of the world stops..

It's like heaven finds your location..and just suddenly drops..

Since everything is so heavenly with you,we always make plans of what we are going to do

But we barely make it out the door,since there's nothing better than cuddling with you..

Maybe this should be a private poem,but you're no longer a secret

I mean when you feel so strongly about someone..you should let the world feel it

Since all we ever see & talk about..is all the negative stuff on the news..

I'm not saying we should ignore those things..but love is the first thing I will choose

So I choose you,

I'll be waiting here for you to get back form your trip..and then we can do all the things you want to do

It's funny, people always say they want you to be happy,but they never want to see you in love..

I remember when I was a little boy,how I used to pray for God to send me an angel from above..

I'm not going to lie,after a while..I gave up and stopped believing 

I've lost so many people through and got you in return..so I guess life & I are now are finally even..

No matter where we are,we can always find our love in the sky

I'm going to love you so well,that all the other guys from the past are going to regret ever letting you slip by..

May all your dreams come true,

You have the chance to do everything you desire to do,

That everyday we're together feel new,

And in a year from now,we can look back and smile how much we grew..

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Be Free..

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So your gone..you're really gone..

I always thought you would live forever..I guess I was wrong..

I just hope & pray your spirit rests in the place where it belongs..

I can't drink or tattoo the pain away anymore..so I just pretend I'm 'normal' and play along

So what is it going to take for them to wake up..

All these unjustified murders just paint the face of the world so ugly..there's no covering it up..no make up

These killings of them,is killing me

"All we want to do is break the chains off,all we want to do is be free"

And it scary..to know that one day that could be being murdered on the tv

I have three little brothers..and I could only imagine the pain & hate that fills your soul after losing a part of your family

So my heart goes out to you..

When the people who are suppose to protect you are the murderers..what are you suppose to do?

And justice will never be served..

How many of our people have to die..until our cries are finally heard?

"Don't just stand around,don't just stand around"

How the hell do they expect us to carry on,after seeing our loved one bloody on the ground

And all of it has made me feel so uneasy..

Because loving each other should be so easy..

But they don't get it…no, they don't get it

But I bet if a cop gets shot,the news will never forget it

"Stop killing us"

Please stop killing us..

How many deaths is it going to take

Until they start hearing us?

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Mockingbird..

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I know that feeling all to well,when it's like you're never heard

Everyone promises to be there,but words are just words

So all you can do now is think about the future with hopes that it will be better

You let your first love slip right out of your hands,now no matter how many new memories you try to make…you still can't forget her

And your best friend is gone too,the cops say he left your name in his very last letter

But I promise to always write to you,and never hold back anything..even down to my very last letter

Now everything falling apart man, it feels like I'm the only one who doesn't know how to put it back together

I finally understand why all good things come to an end…I wouldn't feel any pleasure of going through life like this forever..

So in a couple of days, I'll be 24

But I don't have any wishes,I don't really believe in those types of things anymore

I believe in what you give is what you get back

Just sometimes it's not as clear,so we don't always see that

But then again, I don't think you know what I see in you

Yeah,I aways write about it..but it doesn't seem like you believe it's true

You're one of the strongest people I've ever met

This xo tattoo means more than what meets the eye,it makes sure I won't ever forget

You saved me from myself,after days of having those thoughts..I might have done something I would of regret

But you took the first step…showed me it's okay not to be prefect

The person staring back at you in the mirror is the first person you should really worship

And the end of the year is almost here..

I haven't spent any holidays with my family in almost 3 years

But it's okay,since the love is still there

This military life will test all the boundaries,and help show the ones who really care

I've been really quite lately,you've probably noticed that

Sometimes I just need to take a moment & take a step back

Appreciate more of what you have,than wanting the mealiness things you feel you lack

People can try to help lead you in the right direction,but ultimately only you can put your life back on the right track

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Never Die..

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She looks in the mirror,but she hates what she sees
Everyone around her gives her compliments on her beauty,but she never believes
Because they only want her for her appearance,with their sly words..they try to deceive
But after the first guy broke her heart apart,she promised herself that... that's something no one will
ever achieve

The days are long,the nights are too
The list is short,of the ones who still remain true
So what is there really to do?When it feels like there is no one out there for you?
How do you move on?How can you possibly continue?
I heard some secrets along the way of holding onto hope..and embracing the person within you

He thinks about the future,on how to obtain happiness & success
He's living in a new country now,he doesn't know what to expect
All the ones who love him are so far away..
But freedom isn't free..so that's the price he must pay
Living life, day by day
Thoughts of going A-wall,and just running away..
But he has a couple people looking up to him,so he decides to stay
Life is the only game,that you have no choice but to play

You want to help..you just don't know how
Your friend is hurting inside,but they always say their fine..so just how much do you really allow?
You decide to let it go for a couple of days..
Now your on a school bus home..in front of his house..is a non stop of yellow tape on display
The kids run off the bus,since they've never seen that except on movies and tv shows
The police won't answer any question,is Kevin okay?No one seems to know
So you go home and tell your mom,
She calls Kevin's parents,and after a while she just goes silent for very long
She doesn't know how to tell her son,that his best friend is gone
And all the boy could think about..is what did he do wrong
What was so bad,that he had to pull the trigger?
That was 11 years ago..but these thoughts still haunt him..so many things to consider
He never got to tell his best friend goodbye..
A close casket funeral..so no last looks with his eye
So I live on in the name of you Kevin..I always try
You always wanted to join the military,so here I am in the Air Force..wishing I could give you these wings so you could fly..
Once you mean alot to a poet,you'll live on forever in their poems..so I'll make sure the memory of you will never die.
It's days like this..that I still ask myself why

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