Open Letter

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After while..we will stop trying to live life for other people

And we will start living life for ourselves 

One day we will wake up..and we will know

Exactly who we are and why we are here

It's easy to be told you're not pretty enough

Or you can't do this and that

But it's not true

Because the truth is so rarely spoken or heard

I really wish people would realize that we are all stuck here

So we might as well help each other instead or hurting one another

Some days I wake up hating myself for no reason..and I don't even know why

And that's disturbing since everyone is always telling me I'm a great person & I have a golden heart

What I'm trying to say, is that..we all see something different in each other

You might not see how great you are…but someone will

Don't change who you are,unless it's really something you want to do

I want for you to be able to say, you love you for you

and for it to be true

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Valerie

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If you knew I was drowning…would you just watch and point like the others

I could probably say there was one girl who actually cared..will I ever find another?

Because one day…I will no longer try to stay afloat 

Eventually after having so many holes inside of it..your heart will sink forever ..kinda like a boat

The lights are bright around me,but it's pitch black inside

You act like you care about me,but I can see through the real intentions you try to hide

Why do I play along?Maybe for once..I just want to be wrong

Still searching for where I belong,when you find the girl you want to take to the top…people won't be happy until you're shot back down like King Kong

Maybe I should diagnosed with something…but I don't want to be put on any medication or pills

I'd rather deal with it naturally,so I will continue to bleed out in my poems..untill one day it finally kills

It's all just a game,It's all just a game

But are the players..or the creators the ones to blame

Or is it equal…some treat love & war the same

They don't care…unless it's in their favor,something beneficial to gain 

Soundsofmywords might be done forever

But I was always told to never say never

I feel like it's time to focus on Youhurtsowell

Maybe just because I've been hurt so well

When your in that trance of 'love',you're probably under one of the strongest holds or spell

I still regret the things I did to you..if you couldn't tell

Every year it gets worse,the amount I have fell

Maybe meant to be an angel…but it feels like I keep getting closer to Hell

Hoping for the best,but expecting the worse

It's probably been half a year since I've been inside a church

Maybe this is what I get,always thought maybe it would be a blessing to forget

Things might never get better..is what I've learned to accept 

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Connect

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Just give me some time to figure some things out

Everytime I feel a little bit of turbulence,I just fall back and fly a different route

And she thinks I talk to too many girls..

If only she knew how much they didn't mean..what her & I share is totally on a completely different world

So now I'm just here thinking..what's she thinking

They say miracles can happen at a blink of a eye..so I'm just sitting here blinking

Every text or ring I get I hope its her..I told her everything I needed to tell her,but was it good enough..I won't be sure

So now I'm writing since it's basically the only decent thing I know how to do

It's funny how I was trying to let go of the past,but those same messages are the cause of the problems that we're going through

So I guess I have nobody to blame but me

It's been two years with nobody..but me

And she's number number three

And I don't want to go over five

That's only if God's willing and I'm still able to love & still be alive

Because life will push you to the edge..And how I'm feeling now..I'm ready to dive

I'm not afraid of the fall,I've been at the bottom before

Most of the time completely numb,so no one can hurt me more than I can hurt myself..and that's something I'm completely sure

I always vent to you..because I don't feel like there is anyone else safe to vent to

While I'm just writing these words,part of me feels like I'm meant to

"I'll still be around,when it all falls down,I wish you would learn to how to love people and use things and not the other way around"

So now everything is just laid out on the ground..

You were here the entire weekend,now my place is so quiet..silence is just the loudest sound

I guess I never learn,now I just want another tattoo..

I've kinda got used to the pain of the needle and the burn

And we both feel like we're going crazy inside

I told her that's nothing to be ashamed of,I so messed up I had to make two different blogs just to let everything out..I really have nothing to hide

Could probably write to this song forever..The say the first step is admitting you have a problem..so I hope we get better..

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Someone Like You pt.2

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And I'm just always so far away
No matter how close I get,something happens & I can no longer go that way
Looking so forward to the day
When all my prayers get answered and my family is finally okay
Living within a dream
Wondering if all the good things I do will ever mean anything

Sometimes it just takes too much
So much pressure,it feels like my spirit will soon be crushed
They say ' patience is a virtue ' so I try not to rush
What's the point of laying next to someone if they're is no emotional touch
If only love was as easy as lust..

23 years and the world still isn't any clearer
A picture might be worth a thousand words,but what words come to mind when you look in the mirror
Find the person who would cry you a river
Whenever you make a promise..do your best to deliver
I promise if yours was ever failing..I would lay on that table & give you my liver
She has hurt me once before..now I'm not too sure if it's smart to forgive her..

Missing home..
No matter how much people are around..I just always feel alone
It seems only music can lift me out of this zone
The worst part of being a king,is the feeling you get once your overthrown
Feeling like you're no longer wanted,or that no one cares
These are just some real thoughts that it feels like no one else is willing to share
I want to make you so happy,so happy that it brings you to tears
Roller coasters,heights,being in the middle of the sea & failure are some of my biggest fears
I have a feeling I'll overcome them all once the end of my time is near
What I wouldn't do to go back there
Always distant but you helped me feel here
They say the good ones go..so I do my best to prepare
Hate will make things more foggy,so try loving to see clear
Waiting for them to create the first time machine so I can travel so far ahead or behind
that I can finally disappear
I'm not really sure how I feel about the electric chair
'There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed & blissfully unaware'
-Doug Larson
Maybe my feelings have gone too numb
When you're living in a foreign country,everybody back home always ask when your going to come
You don't know what you got till it's gone
I feel true love disappeared years go..I need someone like you to show me I'm wrong..

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