Monday, April 28, 2014

Waiting All Night..

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Tell me,Tell me..But just don't tell me the words I want to hear
Still the furthest thing from perfect,but when you have the right people in your life..they don't care
Stuck in a never ending cycle of hello & goodbye's
Trapped in a maze full of nothing but twisted truths & lies
Riding this roller coaster of high & lows..
We are have somewhere we're meant to be..some of us are just scared to let go
Let go of everything we no longer love or need..
The happiness inside you just wants to be unlocked & freed..
Three deadly sins that are destroying this world faster than anything…lust,envy & greed..

Used to search for the meaning of life..but know I know it's something I can't find
Life is whatever we make it to be,once we'll truly understand that..I think we'll be fine
Everyday we wake up,then later on we go to sleep
I hope I can live to see the day..when there are no more homeless on the street
If one person is hurting..we all are
We are all connected in someway or another..no matter how close or how far
If only we would wish more on each other..the way we used to wish on a single star
We can sometimes only forgive,as soon as you try to forget..someone reopens up that scar…

The three I started with are already gone
I can still remember us singing 'Crew Love' in Ashlee's flat,that was our song
Anthony,Ashlee & Sarah..I know we'll all be placed where we belong..~
It's been XO love from the start,I wear my heart on my sleeve and xo on my arm..
The stars may be to high for us to reach..
But we can't always get what we want..so loving certain things from afar is the lesson they teach
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Thursday, April 24, 2014

DMT 2

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And it's never the same..
How my day really plays out vs what I imagine in my brain
I always think I spread more love,but all I see is more pain
Once we start drinking & partying..it suddenly starts to become a numbers game
Sad thing is I know better..I hope my mom isn't ashamed..
Threw away something good,just to suffer
But everyone said it made sense…if I didn't really love her
Life is going great…I noticed that the past few days I feel happier to be awake
Your dreams will only come true,when you stop listening to the ones who are fake
Some chances only have 1% of working out,but you miss 100% of any shots you didn't take
So I'm out here taking chances like I'm taking pictures
I wonder how much is actually true in all those bible verses & scriptures
There're so many realms of happiness out there..why would you choose the darkest one?
I have no choice but to something great..I'm my mom oldest son..
Three little brothers who follow behind..
Nathan,Michael,Jordan..I love y'all,don't ever think you're not in the back of my mind
My story here in England ends May 31st, we'll all be reunited soon..just a matter of time..
The world is one big exploration…what treasures are you destined to find?

Writing my heart out,until I run out of words
Love doesn't just have to be a noun..it's better as a verb
So don't just love with words,love with your actions
We can miss out on the greatest love of our life..if we allow lust to be distraction 
So pay attention..WeHurtSoWell is something I wanted to mention
('We're all going to die,all of us.What a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't.
We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities. We are eaten up by nothing'-Charles Bukowski)
Don't be eaten up by nothing..allow yourself to be something
Those who don't try... get nothing..the ones who try & fail at least learn something..
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Monday, April 7, 2014

DMT

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So we're at a standstill..
Everyone's asking if I'm your man still..
But the answer is I'm nothing…I'm nobody
Until I figure out this plan I'm suppose to fulfill 
Who I'm I?
What are you?
They say true love only happens once
And if you lose it…then what are you suppose to do?
Listening to DMT by XXYYXX
If you were to ask me, truthfully I couldn't tell you what next
So far from home..
We're all so far from home
Some of us are afraid of it..
But the truth is in the unknown
Can the water rinse away all of my sins?
What did we just do…what if you were due to have twins..
This life doesn't feel real sometimes
They always want you to read between the lines
But between you and I
There are days when I no longer want to try
But this can't be the end
The music takes me away…one of my truest friends
If you don't love yourself..can anyone really love you?
Sometimes I wonder if there are really angels or this thing called Heaven above you
But I know I can see the stars
Most of us are all out of drive,we just ride in cars
UFO's, Aliens & Spaceships..
I can't be the only one looking for the exit
Is it possible for us to just start over?
I hate saying goodbye…get this hells angel off my shoulder
DMT,it seems I've feel in love with the night..
They've promised us..in the end everything with be alright…
And if it's not you can always come get me..
In the past…I hoped the future would forget me…
It will get better I promise..
Keep your dreams as big as space..as high as asteroids & comets..
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Sunday, March 9, 2014

In Vein..

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The time is always ticking..Every new day is a reminder that I'm running out
Had one of my best weekends with some amazing people,after May I wonder how it's going to be without
When the drinks stop flowing,and the club lights stop glowing
Reality kicks in..without me even knowing..~

How do you tell someone something,your not sure they're ready to hear?
Only when you start doing good is when the fakes really start pretending to care
I could be anywhere..And still radiate my love everywhere
Surround yourself with good people and you'll be fine
If your not trying to progress than the only other choice we have is to leave you behind
No time for tears,it's not about how many years you have in your life,but more about how much life you have in those years
So throw away all your fears,The only person you really should be competing with is yourself,forget your peers
People will always do what they want,and always have a opinion
Do what you want,it's always better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission
Just got promoted a couple days ago,but have always been on the same mission
Trying to find that thing,every one else is trying to find
Still working on unlocking my 3rd eye,but they say great things come with time
So some one time me,still having dreams of disappearing for good,so no one could find me
Why can't we all realize our souls are the most important things,for some reason we still we pay more attention to the body
Our eyes are easily deceived,sometimes you have to be the first person to believe
So believe in me,I won't lie to you,this won't be easy
Life will put you in those situations where you feel uneasy
Now look at the kid,can nobody stress me
I don't got a single vein of hate in my body..
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Monday, November 18, 2013

305 To My City..

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I'm still seeing places..I never dreamed I would see
I will never forget the people who always seem to see things in me, that even I can't see…
I'm not sure where I would be without you..
I'm not going to lie,sometimes these days alone are hard without you
I won't stop until you can possibly have everything you ever want or dream
Half way across the world,UK to America but we will always remain a team
And I have some people in Dubai..it's more like a 'to be continued' not really a goodbye
One of my best friends just got sent home,
I didn't even get to see him off,sometimes I'm not too sure what thoughts are scrabbling around my dome
Talking to someone,but where will it go..where will it lead
Not thirsty for that,but I'm hungry for love,and lessons from history show that one of the biggest misfortunes are greed
So I'm slowly separating all the things I want versus all the things I need
Back in boot camp I knew it line for line,hate to admit it but now I probably couldn't even recite the Airman's Creed
Where is it all really going?
This is probably the only place where I can be totally honest..that's what all this writing is showing
Are we really happier not knowing? 
I feel like I'm missing the most important moments,I can't even see how fast my little brothers are growing
I get it,I get it
You will always be something special to me,don't you ever forget it
(281) (713) (832) that's my city
I would give it all up for you..I just wish you could be here with me..
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Monday, November 11, 2013

Secrets

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"There are two kinds of secrets: those we keep from others and
the ones we hide from ourselves."

She said she feels alone,she feels all by herself
She wants to experience love,she never known how it felt
All the words don't mean a thing..
If they simply slide off the tongue and not from that warm place within
How can you make someone happy..?If you're not happy yourself
All these people around are just pretending..I'm the only one who really wants to help
But that isn't enough..nothing ever is
Nothings really changed,we just want to be accepted, kinda like we are all just that one new kid
These days occur more than often when I don't have much to say
At the end of the day,who is really listening anyway
No one really knows you, do they..

Making the same mistakes..
Will only bring you back to those places you hate
The illusion of love,is what they feed off of,but also what they mastered how to fake
So I'll tell you again..it's all just pretend
A wolf in sheep's clothing,an enemy as a friend
I hate this game we play..because no one really wins anyway
No one really knows me,do they..

Some things are better off left unsaid
They say 'Don't just a book by its cover' but does that still make it okay to judge after its been read
The only two things that should really matter,is what you feel in your heart & what you know in your head
But instead..
We treat each other like we are already dead
With no love in sight,no one will ever be alright
It has been a bad week & a cold and dark day
No one really knows us,do they..

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Saturday, November 2, 2013

Vulnerable

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Is anyone out there really happy? I just want to know
It's been 23 years..and I just want to grow
Grow out this hell,and be set free from this spell
I have a couple cousins who live like their prisoners
It's like their house is just one big cell
And I used to live with them for a while
 I just wanted to set them free
So they can live life the way it's suppose to be
But what exactly is life suppose to be
I guess that will have to remain the biggest mystery 
I keep listening to sad songs..Maybe because they appeal the most to me
And I guess I didn't appeal to you
I always care too much about people who don't deserve it,but that's just me being too true
And I hate being honest
Always being told I'm too negative,but we're living in a world where nothing is promised
I wish I didn't have to be so nice,
If only I could treat these girls like all the other dudes do,with a heart & soul as cold as ice

What has your days really become?
It seems like you're searching for the wrong things..constantly having to be someone else to have fun
Why I'm here?And why are you reading this
Is everything going the way its supposed to..or is there something I missed
It's already November so that means December & Christmas is pretty near
I hate this time of year
Because people think fake smiles and presents can make up for the entire year for which they didn't show they care
I'm just trying to let it all out,because I'm tired of holding it in
The moment we can all be comfortable with who we truly are,is the day I think we can all win
This writing thing…I wonder if it's a blessing or a curse
O that's right,I can just pretend everything in my life is perfect,but that would be worse
So ready to find out my next base..England was cool & all but I think my heart is meant for another place
Learning that my dreams & goals are the only things I should chase

It's been two years…and I finally got to talk to her
I asked when I finally make my return to Florida..what are my chance of seeing her…but she wasn't sure
Things are different now..so I might of lost my place
I told her it's okay,I was the one who said we should just be friends..that was probably my biggest mistake
So now I'm just here & I don't know how to end this
It's like this poem is just one long angry text..not really sure if I should send this
But I already wrote it,so it's basically done
They say only the real are truly Vulnerable..so I guess I'll be the only one…
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