Don't Blink..

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Look her in her eyes..and tell her what you see
Even if it's only for tonight..make it as orgasmic as it can be..
She deserves to be touched in every kind of way..
No words are spoken..her heavy breathing,legs shaking & toes curling say everything they need to say
You pull her hair like no one has ever done before..
Everyday she was starting to feel a little less & less inside..but tonight she only wants more & more
For this moment..all the pain is gone
For this moment..nothing can go wrong
The words 'I love you are exchanged'
After tonight the sheets will have to be changed
Is it love that they're making..or is love out of the question
Scratches on his back..and hickeys on her neck..they're ready to go again & again, no hesitation

This is their only haven..away from it all
In a cruel,cruel world that's so big,they've only felt so small
But being together has changed that all
Yes their only night together has changed it all..
They don't care what happens next..
Constantly chasing the ghost called happiness is the destiny they accept
Pretending everything is okay..is a skill they've perfect

The sun has risen..and one of them have slipped away..
No note,no message..they've just gone away..
The other one sits there..thinks & thinks..
The pain is coming back..it sinks & sinks..
The smell of sex & regret..how it stinks..it stinks..
It's crazy how everything can change within a couple of blinks

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Since I Left..

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It's been a couple of days since I left...
After leaving everyone I love behind..what really do I have left
Rediscovered some things in you,that I've never seen in anyone else before
Made me regret leaving all together a couple days before

So right now I'm here alone
Got a new chapter in front of me,First it was England..now Germany will be my home
Everything's so different,with no contacts to call what's the point of getting a new phone
Been kinda distant from social media for a while,needed some time to return back to my comfort zone

Looking back at all the pictures we took
Thinking hard about my next move,because it will shape how my future will look
If you're not in it...I don't really see the point
Always trying my best to make you proud,I don't ever want to disappoint

After watching 'The Fault in Our Stars',We had a little fight
I saw you break down like never before,it must of been hard to pretend for 3 years that everything was alright
But I'm proud of you,after all you've been through..you still have hope
It's sad to say,but in this life when people see you need help..instead of giving you a hand..
they'll rather help you tie a noose and give you the rope
That makes me think about all the 'Blood on the leaves'
It's okay though,we'll use that rope to help tie up all the greatness we'll achieve
No matter about how much job interviews..they tell you 'Thank you for your time,you can leave'
The most important thing is to never give up,always believe
Everyone back home is so proud of me for being in the Air Force,but to be honest..I'm more proud of you
You live through that everyday struggle..you don't even have a car or cell phone..and everyday you take the bus to school
That's one of the reason why I choose to pour my heart out to you..
Just name that one thing..there isn't one thing I wouldn't do

I learned that in life...you'll probably hurt a few good ones..and break a couple hearts
I do my best to avoid doing that,but trying to make everyone happy will eventually rip you apart
They want you to go this way..and that way..but wait a minute..did anyone even ask...'What does your heart say?'
They probably didn't because they don't really care,you told me your ex is in jail..part of me wishes he will just stay in there
This is one of the reasons I could never own a gun,my emotions could get the best of me..and before I know..bullets are saying how much I care
So I'd rather go the next route..and help you get out
That's with everyone's approval or without
It's crazy how everything I'm writing is true
I didn't even plan to write anything new
I never hold back when I write
My mind is a dark place..only through writing does my true thoughts come to light
I'm so grateful my two best friends didn't die in that car crash..because if they did..I probably would never been alright
And you know who you are..make sure you always buckle up when you're in the car
I should probably end this..too much is coming out
Until the next time we meet...when you finally decide to fly out

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The Catch Up..

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And I've only been home for two days,
Took my family to the mall yesterday and told them pick up whatever they like,I'll pay
It feels so good to be able to do that
Back when I used to be a civilian I could never do that
Just trying to inspire my little brothers to do what's right
Told them there might be some murky days and bleak nights
But as long as you believe in you and strive for the best,everything will be alright
No more hate in my heart,so I'm more into teaching how to love than teaching how to fight
People keep comparing how different we are,when we really need to focus on how much we are alike
Tired of these random killings and acts of hate
Just how much more destruction can this world take?

We need to wake up,
Why does it feel like we're always in a race with love
Can we just catch up?
Or slow down
Even before the military...you were down
But I guess 3 years was too long,because now I'm back and  not a      s.....o.....u.....n.....d
A matter of fact,no one is really around
But what did I really expect?
The further you are away from someone,the harder the love is to accept
So say what you want,say what you may
But I still remember when I told you not to wait for me..funny how now I'm kinda regretting that day
I've met a couple good girls along the way
But I'm never sure what I want,and when I do figure it out..I have to move away
This military thing is a blessing and a curse
Knowing our love is gone forever,or not knowing love at all..which is worse?

It's about 9am back in England,but only 4am in Florida
People will take advantage of everything you're willing to give,and then ask more of ya
They won't see what you're worth until you're gone
Why does it seem like I'm the only one who thinks that's wrong?
I just want all my people to get along
We facetimed yesterday,while we were both in bed
Sometimes it feels like my heart always stayed with you even though the rest of me continued to move ahead

Damn, what's wrong with me
I don't hate certain people,I just wish they wouldn't bother me..

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“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
-F.Scott Fitzgerald

Any Last Words..

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And just like that,it's my turn to go
If only I knew back then,what I know now,maybe it wouldn't be so hard to let go
If only I knew the amount of amazing people I would meet
It was never a bad moment with you all,we made the best out of every week
Traveling the world with the ones you would give the world too
Nothing compares to that feeling when you're around the people who truly know you
It's safe to say that it's been more than real
We had the type of presence and connection that a whole room could feel
It's a small world and even a smaller Airforce
I know we will all meet again,I'm just going to let destiny run her course
Looking back now,I really have no regrets
You will never what great times life has in store for you,you never know what to expect

How are you suppose to say goodbye to everything?
Just like that pack up all your stuff and move like it's not anything?
And that's what they expect us to do
Hate isn't the worst thing in the world,I would say at this moment,that it's leaving the ones that love you
I never saw this moment coming,even though I knew it would come
Looking back though,I wouldn't take back one thing...no not even one
It's safe to say I've fell in love with the people I have here
This place has basically been my home for the last two years
The memories never change,so at least that is something we all get to equally keep
I'm thankful for whoever is looking down on us,for every single soul I got the chance to meet
The best times are still ahead of us,at least that's something we can smile about..we still haven't reached our peak
Who else from our hometowns can say they partied it up in Sweden,and threw up S.O.G in the street
Amazing people like you,will be hard to find
I guess this is see you later..until we all meet next time

I still have a couple things left to say
I'd like to thank anyone,who helped me in the past,or who continue to help me on my way
They always say life is what you make it,and that is true
You can keep yourself locked away forever,or break free and become a better you
I've said this before,the world doesn't need anymore pretty faces,what it needs is kind hearts
Alot of us have been broken inside our entire lives,now we just want to be put back apart
So will you be the person to help them start?
The world gets colder and colder..all it needs is the warmth from you heart

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Brain

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I can see you're hurting..I've been hurting too
I can see you don't trust as easy anymore..I find it hard to trust too
I can see you you no longer believe in love..Nowadays I'm not sure if I believe in it anymore too
But I can tell you one thing..You and I...we're here for something
There's no way...that all of this could of been for nothing..
You want to matter..you want to be heard
You don't want to be told 'I love you'.. just because it might be the right choice of words
You want a way out..You want to let it all out
You want to the words that come from your heart..to be spoken out your mouth
You're tired of the games..and everyone acting the same
You know it's not important to try and be 'cool'
You know it doesn't make you foolish to give someone your all..even if they could never return
that same love to you

All the lies..and goodbyes..
The ones who forgot about you..after the first try
The ones who never took the time..to really get to know you
Shout out to the ones who still show their love..and still care to discover every little thing
about you
Life is too short..and we might not get another try
Live your life to the fullest..don't carry a bag of regrets to the grave when you have to say goodbye
I can still remember the first time you said 'Hi' and we locked eyes..
When I'm drowning through the lows..our memories carry me to the highs
Now your out chasing your dreams..I always believed in you..all you had to do was try..

It's been forever and more..
I no longer know where I'm going..or what I'm doing for sure..
I just know I'm suppose to help and provide hope..
Because even when I'm not able too..It will make me feel 10x better if someone else could cope
So I'm here for you..tell me the things no one else would listen to..
People use their brains too much..I wish when they made decisions..their hearts weren't missing too
Loving each other should be the easiest thing to do..
But when we put too much thought in it..it becomes a game..
That's when it's game over for me..
And game over for you..

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Waiting All Night..

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Tell me,Tell me..But just don't tell me the words I want to hear

Still the furthest thing from perfect,but when you have the right people in your life..they don't care

Stuck in a never ending cycle of hello & goodbye's

Trapped in a maze full of nothing but twisted truths & lies

Riding this roller coaster of high & lows..

We are have somewhere we're meant to be..some of us are just scared to let go

Let go of everything we no longer love or need..

The happiness inside you just wants to be unlocked & freed..

Three deadly sins that are destroying this world faster than anything…lust,envy & greed..

Used to search for the meaning of life..but know I know it's something I can't find

Life is whatever we make it to be,once we'll truly understand that..I think we'll be fine

Everyday we wake up,then later on we go to sleep

I hope I can live to see the day..when there are no more homeless on the street

If one person is hurting..we all are

We are all connected in someway or another..no matter how close or how far

If only we would wish more on each other..the way we used to wish on a single star

We can sometimes only forgive,as soon as you try to forget..someone reopens up that scar…

The three I started with are already gone

I can still remember us singing 'Crew Love' in Ashlee's flat,that was our song

Anthony,Ashlee & Sarah..I know we'll all be placed where we belong..~

It's been XO love from the start,I wear my heart on my sleeve and xo on my arm..

The stars may be to high for us to reach..

But we can't always get what we want..so loving certain things from afar is the lesson they teach

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DMT 2

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And it's never the same..

How my day really plays out vs what I imagine in my brain

I always think I spread more love,but all I see is more pain

Once we start drinking & partying..it suddenly starts to become a numbers game

Sad thing is I know better..I hope my mom isn't ashamed..

Threw away something good,just to suffer

But everyone said it made sense…if I didn't really love her

Life is going great…I noticed that the past few days I feel happier to be awake

Your dreams will only come true,when you stop listening to the ones who are fake

Some chances only have 1% of working out,but you miss 100% of any shots you didn't take

So I'm out here taking chances like I'm taking pictures

I wonder how much is actually true in all those bible verses & scriptures

There're so many realms of happiness out there..why would you choose the darkest one?

I have no choice but to something great..I'm my mom oldest son..

Three little brothers who follow behind..

Nathan,Michael,Jordan..I love y'all,don't ever think you're not in the back of my mind

My story here in England ends May 31st, we'll all be reunited soon..just a matter of time..

The world is one big exploration…what treasures are you destined to find?

Writing my heart out,until I run out of words

Love doesn't just have to be a noun..it's better as a verb

So don't just love with words,love with your actions

We can miss out on the greatest love of our life..if we allow lust to be distraction 

So pay attention..WeHurtSoWell is something I wanted to mention

('We're all going to die,all of us.What a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't.

We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities. We are eaten up by nothing'-Charles Bukowski)

Don't be eaten up by nothing..allow yourself to be something

Those who don't try... get nothing..the ones who try & fail at least learn something..

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